The Great Apple Bitch Fest

In no particular order.


  1. Only giving 5GB of iCloud storage for free is a disservice to both their users and iCloud.
  2. The Mac App Store. Why no gifting apps? Why no app subscriptions?
  3. The Apple Watch takes forever to install system updates.
  4. Xcode download sizes are huge, speeds are always slower than downloading any other thing, and install/extract times are way too long, and I have no idea or explanation as to why these are the case.
  5. The camera bump.
  6. The coalescing of hardware and software releases. Interactions with the public should be frequent and fruitful.
  7. Failing (so far) to get TV content providers under control.
  8. "Please enter your Apple ID Password" dialogs on iOS with no prompt and no sign that it completed whatever it needed to do. If iOS wasn't secure enough that I was sure these were native dialogs, it would be a huge deal.
  9. No, or very little, Siri offline support. Some of this stuff should definitely be local, and it suffers for it.
  10. AirPods should have been included in the box.
  11. The name "Force Touch".
  12. The App Switcher, and the UI for choosing a second app to run on iPad, are both inefficient and strange.
  13. Expanding on No. 6, software updates for Apple apps should be out of sync with OS and hardware releases. There are enough areas in the OS themselves to stand alone - don't use a Notes update or a Maps update for filler. Plus, Safari needs to move faster.
  14. Making single purpose dongles for new multipurpose ports goes a long way, but if they made a hub, it would make the transition very easy AND highlight a multipurpose port's benefits. Why they don't is a mystery.
  15. 3D Touch fucks up the interaction for deleting apps, making it a really strange experience. I have no idea why they don't add "Uninstall App" to the default quick actions, but they should.
  16. As far as the new MacBook Pro goes, ditching MagSafe is the thing I will miss the most. It was genius and one of those "of course" Apple touches. I get why they did it: these devices aren't as tied to power as they were, and 10hrs of battery life is enough to make this a "plug-in while not using" kind of device. Still. (Ditto for the charging lights.)
  17. It would require an API and a strict bar for compatibility, but Apple should allow third party apps to be system defaults on iOS.
  18. I miss the rotation lock switch on iPads.
  19. In general, I think Apple has missed a lot of opportunities to improve upon central iPad UX. This is true on the regular iPad, but glaring on the iPad Pro 12" (on which I write this). Things like the home screen, the App switcher, choosing apps for second screen, the layout for widgets, Notification placement... in some of these cases, we know where they should go. They should go there.
  20. Siri. Oh boy. First, she doesn't know about a lot of things, which is glaring because of how much she knows about sports. She should know about politics, for example.
  21. Second, a voice-assistant works best when understanding daisy chained requests: for example, to ask Siri to send a text with a certain message to Jason is a task that might, with confirmations, take just as long as completing the action myself. However, to ask Siri to send Jane's number to Jason would take twice as long if I were to do it myself. Think of voice being particularly good at condensing multiple interactions into one. So, why can't she do that?
  22. Oh, and why can't she set multiple timers? What the hell?
  23. iTunes. This should have been multiple apps a long time ago.
  24. The bar for submitting an app under Apple's developer ID should be way higher in almost every way. There are so many easy targets here, but my favorite of late is the iTunes Connect app for iOS. How this was allowed to ship is beyond me.
  25. Account management, especially Apple ID, is bad on iOS and macOS when it should be seamless. This whole logging in for FaceTime and iMessage and iTunes and "everything else" is odd, considering the prime case is most definitely one login for all of them. Start by unifying them all, and give me the option in settings to use a different ID in a given app.
  26. If you're going to put in the App Store Guidelines that Push Notifications are never to be used for spam or marketing, than enforce it. Otherwise, take it out.
  27. Apple TV is missing key features that require apologizing for an otherwise great device. No 4K or HDR support, no notification support...
  28. Handoff exists. iCloud music library exists. Why doesn't Handoff for iCloud music library exist?
  29. In Maps, I cannot see the suggested routes in list form before I pick one.
  30. No markdown support in App Store release notes. Not even bolded and italicized text. Or bullets. Bullets!
  31. In an ideal world, "I am wearing my Apple Watch" == "just approve anything that you'd ask me to use Touch ID for".
  32. Apple compares itself to itself, which is fine, but compare yourself to yourself last year, not decades ago. This whole "1000x faster than the original iPhone" doesn't sit well with me, and the MacBook Pro intro was maybe the worst of them all, comparing itself to the original PowerBook.
  33. Stop. Using this troupe. In your marketing.
  34. Please, God, don't make original TV shows. You are bad at it. Just buy Netflix.
  35. Geolocation fences haven't worked for me once. I've seen them work, so I can only assume it's spotty, and only spotty for me.
  36. Shipping the Apple Pencil and an Apple Smart Keyboard without a holder for the Pencil.
  37. The Magic Mouse 2 charging port being on the bottom, so you can't use it when it's plugged in.
  38. In the same way AirPods should have been included in the box, some of the adapters, especially the USB-A to USB-C adapter, should have come in the new Macbook Pro box. It's a $2000 computer.
  39. Silence and secrecy from Apple on new products and features is good, until products go untouched for a year or more. Secrecy works when you retain the mystique of working on something in secret. If Intel is holding you back, just say so.